Drama and angst, who needs it right?!?! I need a good laugh right now. Between the books and fan fic I’ve been reading lately, I want to read something funny. Lucky for me, the GiggleSnort 2012 awards were just given out earlier this month. One of my favorite stories was awarded the Epic Giggle!! *dancing and clapping*
Meet the Masens by FictionFreak95
This author knows how to write funny. Edward Cullen, Dick for Hire and its sequel, The Dick in Me were favorites of mine from last year. This one isn’t quite as harsh in the language and violence department. I think that I like it even better for that. Our Edward and Bella are very experienced con artists that have been working for Marcus for years, but on opposite sides of the country. When Marcus asks them to come to Austin, Texas, they willingly do so, not knowing anything about each other. Thrown together as a “married couple in the suburbs”, they need to work together to uncover the mystery of Jasper Hale, their wealthy neighbor. I am a huge fan of well-written banter, and this story has it in buckets.
Here is an excerpt of them arriving at their “new home” together. WARNING. There is some off-color language in it, and is slightly immature as well.*giggle/snort*
I turned my head a little to hear what it was she had to say, anxious for her lips to be that close to my earlobe, and yet not understanding at all what was happening to me or why I was reacting the way I was. “We’re supposed to belong here, Edward, pick your jaw up off of the ground and follow me into the house before you give us away within the first two minutes.”
That was all she said before her hand left and then her chest…then she just walked up the path, saying a few things to the movers, never looking back.
And the ass shaking… still nice.
I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She was clearly one of those people who simply demanded your attention. Not so much that she was looking for it…more like people just gave it to her willingly.
I shook my head as she disappeared into the house. It wasn’t like I was inexperienced with these types of maneuvers. I’d run plenty of these scenarios for Marcus in my day just…not on this scale.
And I couldn’t help but imagine what exactly it was that Marcus wanted from this guy aside from his skills. I couldn’t figure out why he would try so hard to get him into his back pocket when there were probably plenty of private investigators out there more than willing to play ball.
I took note of some of our neighbors as I walked up the driveway, while they got their nosy neighbor awards for taking a sneak peek at the newbs on the block. I wondered if any of them were our guy, and, if so, had he caught my little mishap already? And when I finally made it inside safely, I closed the door and leaned up against it.
“I call the master!” Bella screamed from somewhere, and I thought about how completely appropriate it was that she’d just assume she was head of the household. I actually had to shake my head at her complete control freak persona. She really needed to lighten up a little.
“Lady-who-wants-to-suckmydicksayswhat?” I yelled back, and she said, “What?” causing me to squint my eyes shut and silently laugh at how easily she’d fallen for that old trick.
I chuckled some more. “Bitchandahalfsayswhat!”
My ribs hurt from the soundless laughter coming out of me and, to answer your question, yes, I’m that immature.
“You call the what?” I yelled out, trying to stifle the tears of joy in anxious abatement for her reply.
“Coming!” I yelled in a victorious screech, giving a good, strong fist pump into the air and she hollered back, “ASSHOLE!”
So show me the funny. I want to know what you read, when you need to laugh.
Annie has some hilarious suggestions as well. Take it away, my chica!!
The Best Thing I Ever Did by WhatsMyNomDePlume
Is there anyone who hasn’t experienced the fun, adorable joy of The Best I Ever Had? You? Go. NOW. We’ll wait. (Doo Deee Dooo) Back? Okay. The Best Thing I Ever Did (TBTIED) is a mini sequel to The Best I Ever Had (TBIEH) WhatsMyNomDePlume is on my Favorite Authors list and she has yet to disappoint. These two, Edward and Bella, are just ridiculously right for each other. She’s a wee bit, um, neurotic and awkward and he’s the smartass who understands her. In this sequel, E&B have been together for about a year now when their friend Alice gets the idea in her head that Edward is going to propose. You can imagine the level of freakout that ensues.
Excerpt from Chapter 2:
I’m still standing in the same place, staring at the Tiffany’s bag, when Edward walks out of the shower. Without thinking, I blurt out, “If you get down on one knee in that towel, your penis will stick out.”
I’m just saying.
We also get the same swoony EPOV bits interspersed through the chapters. He is so sexy and sweet you could melt into a puddle. Do not miss this one. Required fic reading. There will be a test! *Carol Burnett ear tug*
Oher fics that get our funny stamp of approval:
Love In My Box by cosmoandmarvar
The Port Angeles Players by WriteOnTime
Late Night With Aro by Mrs.TheKing