Today one of my favorite authors has favored us with a guest post. I love those don’t you?!?

Sarah is the author of Grave Refrain…a book I love, and I’m super happy to have her here

Let’s go read her post shall we?

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Banter College

I’ll admit it: I have a banter kink.  Some people prefer their kinks with more accessories; I prefer mine oral.  Hmmm, let me rephrase:  I prefer sexy words.  The smarter the better.

Perhaps it was years of watching Hepburn and Tracey, or Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell, but the moment the wit starts to fly, I grip the arms of my chair and I’m lost.  Of course it has to be accompanied by the body language, the UST bristling off of the screen or the page.  It’s all about battle – the sexual conquest for sure.  Or if sex is already being enjoyed, it’s the subtle reminder that pulls the lovers right back into the state of lust and heat and wanton oblivion.  The lovers’ shorthand, the secret code — talking dirty but with a PhD.

Now, there’s also the eyesex that adds to the allure of the words.  I’m not a fan of adverbs when I write, but they can be used like a killer aphrodisiac when describing how one lover’s eyes can devour another’s — or tease the reader with the ‘ever does he or doesn’t he’ until we’re ready to scream at the book, “For god’s sake just jump on those bones already, I’m dying here.”  I tried to accomplish some of this in my book, Grave Refrain, laughs.

Which brings me to my point:  while as an author I strive to include all this erotic deliciousness in my work, I believe all of this is sadly missing in real life and we need to do something about it.  It’s all fine and good to find it in the pages of our favorite romance but let’s face it, if you’re like me you’re living a life filled with two teenagers bickering, a dog puking on the rug, and foreplay being reduced to the phrase, “Are you awake?”

Have you asked, “What do you want for dinner?” only to hear “I don’t know, what do you want?” one too many times?  And I’m not talking about dinner, ‘dinner’ (unless you’re Irene Adler – and if you haven’t watched the Sherlock BBC series, for all that is holy, do so.)  Seriously, there should be a school for men – a sexual etiquette school, if you will.  There, in a safe, happy and healthy environment,  lovely goddesses could train those mouth breathers on how to truly work a woman (or man, I’m all for equal opportunity) into a puddle of goo instead of forcing their mate into a lifetime of wondering when was the last time the bedroom ceiling was repainted.  Maybe they could also teach them how to dance, order a meal, buy the right kind of flowers, and cook a decent breakfast the next morning in between the indoor gymnastics.  The syllabus would have to include Banter 101: How to Whisper Into the Ear: Before, During and After.  There would be a test, of course.  And awards for merit, let’s not forget that.  I think any woman in their right mind would pay an extra bit of sales tax to subsidize such a hallowed learning institution.

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Thanks Sarah…we love having you on Bookish Temptations. You’re always welcome here!

Tamie Xo