A Valentine from Blake to Livia

Beautiful Girl at the Train Station,

I have some of your smiles. I hope you don’t mind. I promise you won’t miss them, you seem to have so many to give.

The ones aimed at me? I’m getting possessive about them. We’re up to #237. Two hundred and thirty-seven smiles that crossed your face with every intention of welcoming me, greeting me.

For a while I thought you didn’t know. Maybe I was even hoping you wouldn’t know that I’m homeless. But as always, I’m sure it becomes apparent. But you kept on smiling long after you knew. Long after you must have known. What does that take?

I think it’s bravery. And the smiles I get? Damn. My whole body changes, touched by the kindness that pours out of you so effortlessly.  After the train whisks you away, I’m envious of it. To have you so complexly and securely inside, it must feel like heaven. Just to hug you in my arms…

It’ll never happen, and I’m okay with that, because there have been 237 times that allowed me to hope. Hope that someday I’d have the courage to stand up and escort you to your car. Hope that I could go into a fancy store and buy you a pile of roses that match the color of your cheeks in the cold.

I’ll never hand this letter to you, for fear that it would scare you, for fear that the smiles might stop.

But on this Valentine’s Day, I wanted to put into the universe that if I ever got the blessing of being loved, if I ever got that lucky?

I would really, really like it to be by you.

Quietly,

Blake Harrt

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