Day of Employment: 359
Location: Cubicles outside Canon’s office.
Co-workers: Betting on how long Canon’s new PA will last.
Me: No doubts. Ms. Gum-smacker won’t last the day. I need to place my bet.
Manolo Blahnik’s New Fall Shoes: Mine. As soon as Madeline hands over my winnings.
Emma Baker has never spoken a word to Alaric Canon, nor has he to her. But she’s studied him every day across the office tundra for almost a year. Canon is hard and fierce, terrifying and beautiful. He’s also the most stern, unforgiving person Emma has ever seen. Emma’s co-workers run a betting pool for Personal Assistant terminations. There’s a separate pot for the day one leaves without crying. Not likely…Canon made a former Navy SEAL cry.
He has high standards and low tolerance. Everyone knows it. Everyone stays away. Everyone who can, that is. Except Emma. She can’t look away. Alaric Canon is the single most attractive man she’s ever seen. Bar none.
Canon has never noticed her. Not once in almost a year. She’s not even a blip on his radar. But she will be. His radar will be blipless no more.
It is a goal. Emma has a plan.
Where to begin with how I feel about Qwen and this book. It was the highlight of my new year’s reading for sure. There is just so much to love…
First, Emma Baker. The woman with a plan. A very good plan. I mean, the object of her obsession is perfection in a designer suit, in her own words…
Alaric Canon is the single most attractive man I have ever seen. Bar none.
He’s the guy you wish Jennifer Aniston would be with just to get back at Brad.
Scientists should break off his cells and use them in electromagnetic experiments. Those tubes can destroy the earth if the particles align properly. Something along those lines.
When he passes through the lobby on the way to his corner office, it’s like looking into the sun–in all of the good ways and the bad.
He has to be an ass of epic proportions.
He has an epic ass.
I’ll take “What is irony?” for $200, Alex.
I love that she has goals and that she uses her intelligence and wit to share her story. Note the format for her prose. It feels like journal entries for her day. The girl is hilarious. I laughed out loud many, many times. It is a unique way to write and I got it. Loved it actually.
This year, Rebecca instituted a White Elephant gift exchange. That passive aggressive method to convey just how little the people you see more often than family mean to you via the splendor of craptastic gifting.
She also set the fun additional requirement that we all wear, or in some other manner utilize, our gifts at work at least one day prior to New Year’s Day.
I drew Bert. I shall bestow upon him a ninety percent off the clearance price “Team Jacob” shirt and a defunct Borders Book Store gift card with a one dollar and seventy-eight cent balance. Adoringly gift-wrapped in junk mail. Bow crafted from plastic grocery bags.
Reduce. Reuse. Recycle.
Regret bagging on my shoes, Bert.
After an exchange of a few pleasantries (read: gossip) with Rebecca, I head to the bathroom to readjust my bra and all the things that currently threaten to no longer dwell within.
Victoria: Spilling all my Secrets.
Holiday party: Secular.
The early sojourn to the bathroom was perfectly timed to miss our comptroller’s announcement that our company is in distress and there would be minimal bonuses this year. Most staff will get spiral sliced hams.
Oh, joy to the world.
Way to set a festive mood there, Jeremiah Bullfrog.
Rebecca and Madeline fill me in. It’s not entirely dire. There is a huge merger deal in the works.
If the contract comes together, not only will it save the company and our collective livelihoods, but create a few new production jobs as well.
Mr. Personality himself, Canon, will be devoting all his time between now and Christmas to sew it up. The man of the hour has not yet darkened the door this evening.
His involvement sets me at ease as well as most other folks who can see how effective he is at his job. It should also come as a huge relief to the residents of Whoville since he will be too preoccupied this year to steal their Christmas again. Enjoy your roast beast in peace, Cindy Lou.
White elephants: Exchanged.
Not being discussed: Other pachyderm in the room.
Bert: Team Edward. [KB:Holla..]
Canon: Still not here.
Honestly, there are too many scenes where I found myself wondering if Emma’s attention to detail would be for nothing. Alaric Canon wants everyone, especially his assistant, to be infallible and know his needs before he does. He meets his match with our Emma though. I do feel like she’s mine, because I love her and want to be her.
If I can’t be a blip on the radar, I will be a fly in the ointment.
When Emma finds herself on a business trip with her object of her obsession, to close the big deal, this is her chance to be “seen” by Canon. Things take a turn when Emma gets drunk and shows her, umm talent. One of many actually. Are there regrets? Maybe. Will Alaric show his true colors? Man. Oh man. Does he…
Stockings: Hung over the lampshade with care.
Note to self: Find Cheesecake Factory suggestion box. Submit pineapple cheesecake.
Reindeer games: Is that what you kids are calling it these days?
So much sex. I feel limp. Like I should move to a Boneless Chicken Ranch.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Condoms: Soon the way of the dodo.
An odd gray area now settles between us. Too intimate for small talk. Not intimate enough for talk of bigger concepts like relationships, futures, curtains.
How do you start a casual conversation after you’ve been fornicating like the survival of the species depended on your successful efforts?
Hey, hun, did you like the mount up I did on you last night?
Yes, yes. I’ve been stretching. Trying to keep limber.
While the premise of Asshole boss turns over a new leaf when he falls for his personal assistant, isn’t all that new, that doesn’t mean there isn’t a more interesting way to tell that story.
Kudos to Qwen for writing a heroine that I could root for and laugh with, plus she gave me a new book boyfriend to fantasize about when my nights are cold.
Ok. I swear. Just one more, and I’ll finish this review. I promise. LOL
“Really?” Shock is an understatement. He was going to ask me out. On a date. You know, one of those things where guys buy food and pretend to listen to you in hopes they’ll get to see boobies.
I give this book 5 “pineapple flavored” stars and it is the first book in 2014 that I put on my “books-that-own-me” shelf on Goodreads.
We will be posting an interview I did with Qwen soon, so stay tuned!!